It has been 6 weeks since Parker's initial consultation with the child development center. 6 weeks since we found out that he should have a team evaluation done. 6 weeks since he was official diagnosed as "developmental delayed." I cried a lot that first day. Scared, worried, uncertain. It took 6 weeks to have a (major) breakdown.
It started with THIS amazing blog I have been reading for the last several weeks. My pastor tweeted the link to it and I have been hooked ever since. Isn't it wonderful that God can bring you what you need, just at the right time! The author has 2 sons with Autism, 4 and 2. While we don't yet have that diagnosis (and may not get it), I can't help but she similarities between her kids and my Parker (she also has a Parker.) I was a bit behind on blog reading and finally got to her post, Dear Mom, last night. It is a letter written from the perspective of her 4-year-old. I was balling before I was two paragraphs in! It gave me a potential glimpse into the future. It broke my heart into what felt like a million little pieces. But, then it put it back together again. Hope and faith and perseverance can put it back together again. I felt an immediate need to be with Parker when I finished reading. I wanted to hold him tight and protect him. So I did. I scooped him up from his crib, snuggled and cried and prayed. For peace and wisdom and direction. I know this won't be the last breakdown, but perhaps I will be better prepared for the next.
In other news, we had our school district consultation last week. The program director and 3 specialists came to our house and presented him with a bunch of tasks/objects and observed what he did. We didn't get any feedback that day, but has scheduled the follow up for this past Monday. All of his scored were evaluated and the tough news is that he was below average in all 5 categories (physical development, communication, social/emotional, cognition, functional/adaptive.) He was low enough in 3 categories to qualify for services from the school district. This is promising news, because it gives us something to hold on to while we wait for further diagnosis. We will have meetings once a week. A person will come into our home to work with Parker on specific goals we have set mutually.
For now, I am working on just enjoying spending time with him, playing and singing and snuggling (even for a few seconds) and watching the cars go by.