I am worried that he will be in a bad mood or not want to do anything for the doctors. I am worried that the hour long break between appointments tomorrow will not be enough to feed him and drive around till he falls asleep. I am worried that if he doesn't nap (even for 20 minutes) he will be a crabby terror for his second appointment. I am worried that they won't be able to tell us what is wrong, that they won't know how to treat him. I am worried about how many appointments he may need a week. I am worried about accommodating all his needs and still working full time. I want to give him everything possible, but I am worried that I won't be able to. Selfishly, I am worried how this will change our lives. The time, the energy, the money that already seems so slim sometimes.
And then I look for peace. I have not found it yet, in this moment. I am hoping it is there when I wake up, or leave the house, or walk into that office tomorrow.
I don't know what will happen, but I know God has a plan for us. A plan for Parker. God made him perfect, no matter what the world says. I know that no matter what happens, I will wake up to the same smiling face. The same happy boy. He is my heart and soul, my everything.
Thanks for listening.