Growing Smaller

Warning: This is a LONG personal post.  So, if you just come for pictures of Parker (Dad) you can skip this one if you want!

When I first started this blog a year and a half ago it was to document my pregnancy and share my love of crafting!  Now that I have a very energetic toddler it is time to get into high gear towards "growing" the other direction.  I have been a heavier person for as long as I can remember.  Over the past 7 1/2 years my weight has fluctuated a LOT.  The first time I actively tried to lose weight was in the fall of 2005.  I was in college, living at home and working a part-time job.  I had time to spare.  I drastically changed my diet to a modified South Beach model.  I joined Curves and went almost every day.  I lost 20 lbs. my first month, 15 my 2nd, and was down 50 total in 3 1/2 months.  I felt amazing!  50 was my initial goal and I was so excited to be there.  I really wanted to lose another 35, but that never happened.  I maintained my weight for over a year, but never went down.

Then, I met Jimmy!  You know how new relationships can be.  Time for workouts gets traded for time together, healthy meals get traded for thrice weekly dates at El Loro.  By the time we were engaged 9 months later I had gained 30 lbs. back.  Then came the pre-wedding weight loss scurry!  I was able to drop 15 buy the time we got married in March of 2009.  Then life got away from me.  As much as I wanted to stay healthy, I also wanted to eat anything I liked.  I gained it all back and started my pregnancy with Parker at my original starting weight from 2005.

(Thanks) to gestational diabetes I kept my pregnancy weight gain to only 15 lbs.  I lost all of that and more after Parker was born, but I also didn't have to worry about my blood sugar anymore.  I creeped back up to what I weighed when I gave birth, the heaviest I have ever been.  I don't have many pictures  of myself from the neck down during that time, but this was taken just before I decided to jump back on the wagon.

I was 250 lbs. in this picture.  Whew...I guess that wasn't too hard to type.  If others can disclose their weight on national television, then I can disclose mine to the 10 (being optimistic?) people that read my blog!

It was at that point that I realized I was not in a healthy place for myself, my family and any future children I wanted to have.  I was also afraid of developing diabetes.  A disease that was much more likely since I had it during pregnancy.  I was avoiding going to the doctor because I didn't want to know.  My goal was to lose some weight and then go in.  I started out ok, losing 13 lbs. from November to February (over the holidays.)

Come February, I couldn't avoid the "doctor" anymore.  My work is doing a health initiative for a credit towards insurance premiums.  I love to save $$ and it was motivation to get healthy.  I was nervous to go to my screening.  Not to see my weight (I know I am obese) or blood pressure (always been normal), but for that pesky blood sugar reading.  My fears were realized when I got a fasting number of 291!  For those not familiar with blood sugar numbers, that is REALLY bad!  I even had to sign something saying that I would go to a doctor immediately.  I wasn't surprised, but I was devastated   I felt like I had let down myself, and worse, my family.  I was at the doctor within a week for additional screening.  I had blood drawn and made a follow-up appointment for the next week.

When the doctor walked in the next week he said, "I have good news and bad news, I think."  Bad news, my hemoglobin was very high.  This is essentially a 3 month average of your blood sugars.  It indicates that I am clinically diabetic.  There are a lot of things that can influence blood sugars like weight and stress (my job has been contributing significantly to this one in the last 6 months.)  So, what is the good news?  My thyroid stimulating hormone was almost 4x that of normal levels.  I have hypothyroidism, my body is not producing enough thyroid hormone.  Why is that good?  I would rather not have anything wrong with me, but this can also cause blood sugars to be elevated and make weight loss difficult.  Best of all, it is VERY treatable.  I will have to take a thyroid replacement for the rest of my life, but it will make me healthier.  I was also put on Metformin, which will help to stabilize my blood sugar.  I left the doctor feeling relieved   I was tasked with continuing to lose weight and I will have to come back after 3 months to make sure my thyroid dosage is good and see how my blood sugar has changed.

I have always found it easier to lose weight with a good motivator.  The threat of diabetes is a big one!  Not only is being diabetic kind of a pain in the butt, it is also REALLY expensive.  It has been a month since I found all this out.  I am down another 10 lbs. and am feeling very proud of myself!  I have an initial goal of 50, but I know it can't end there.  I try not to think of my ultimate goal too much because it seems so far away.  To reach it I will have to lose 100 lbs. total!  That will be an amazing feat.  It may take me a while (especially if another baby happens) but I will get there.

Thanks for drudging through this with me.  I have been doing a lot of research on the best ways to lose weight and maintain it so I will probably start sharing some of that too!